The Q Problem
by Isabella Auditore
Summary: The Q Continuum were fascinated by the changes made to the timeline of the Universe by the grieving Romulan, Nero. Now, humanity's future has changed. Someone is sent to oversee these changes, and isn't exactly thrilled to be stuck with humans for the foreseeable future. Especially when it means spending time with the Enterprise's crew. ((Four OCs. Rated T for Q in general.))
1. Chapter 1

_So, welcome to my brand new fanfic! In case you missed what section you're in, this is a crossover between the 2009 Star Trek 'verse and Star Trek: TNG. This is merely for one character's sake. Please forgive me for inaccuracies in a few things, since this is my first 'Star Trek' fanfic. I have a Starfleet Technical Manual, (fully illustrated!) so I'll try and make use of that if I can.  
Firstly, I gotta warn you. This story will have a few OCs in positions of power.  
I suppose I'll just start the story then! Enjoy!_

Doctor Jessica Sage, Junior Medical Officer aboard the Constitution-class USS Enterprise under Captain James Tiberius Kirk, groaned in defeat as she turned her cards over.  
"How did I lose again?!" Sage complained with a grin. The young woman with short brunette hair in a blue Starfleet uniform tucked her hair behind her ear. She leaned back in her seat.  
"I am afraid you have a very obvious and frankly humorous tell, Doctor." Lieutenant Alessa remarked with an emotionless tone and a blank face. The Vulcan with long brown hair plaited over one shoulder swooped her arm over the table, drawing the many poker-chips toward her already substantial pile. Her blue Science uniform was crisp and unwrinkled, her posture straight as a board.  
"You mean to say you found something humorous, Alessa?" Commander May Harper's eyebrows had disappeared beneath her very short blonde hair. The red-uniform wearing Engineer hadn't lost quite as many chips as Sage.  
"Of course not, Commander. I was merely stating that the concept could be viewed as humour by those with a mild understanding of the human reproductive system." Alessa raised an eyebrow, sorting her chips into piles according to their worth.

The two humans exchanged a glance.  
"Did you just make a dirty joke?" Harper fought to keep her almost-laughter under control, using one hand to cover her mouth. "I think you are the first Vulcan to ever make a dirty joke!"  
"Oh God, now I really need to know what my tell is!" Sage exclaimed in distress, glancing at the door of Harper's quarters. "What if one of the Senior Officers walks in while we're playing?"  
"What you mean is what if _McCoy_ walks in?" Harper smirked evilly. Sage made a series of unintelligible noises then, similar to that of a choking cat.  
"Well, at least I don't have the hots for _Scottie_!" Sage hurled back eventually, her face bright red.  
Alessa observed the ensuing joke-argument with a sigh. If it were possible for her patience to be tried, these humans would be the cause. Just then, Harper's communicator beeped, reminding her of a previous arrangement. She stopped mid-prod, her index finger buried in Sage's ribcage.  
"Ooh, do you guys want to talk to my cousin?" Harper's eyes lit up. Sage and Alessa shared a glance.  
"I can see no reason why we should not."  
"Yeah, okay!"

The screen that sat on the desk beside where the three of them had been playing poker lit up, displaying the smiling face of a young man. He appeared to be perched on the edge of the seat in the Captain's quarters on a starship.  
"Captain Moore." Harper nodded at the screen, barely concealing a smile.  
"Hey, May-Day." The young man, Captain Robert Moore of the USS Surprise, smiled at his cousin.  
"May-Day?" Sage asked Harper with a frown, then introduced herself to the Captain. "Excuse me, Captain. I'm Doctor Sage. I work alongside Commander Harper."  
"Oh, right! You're the one that gave my little cousin all those bruises on her arm in a poke-war. And please, here I'm just Robbie." Captain Moore smirked. "That nickname is from when we were younger. She was so accident-prone, I always had to cry 'mayday, mayday!'. It just kinda stuck."  
"Well, it seems nothing really changed." Sage replied. She was rewarded with an elbow to the side.  
"And you must be Alessa. It's a pleasure to meet you." Captain Moore held his right hand up, palm out, middle finger and ring ringer forming a 'v'.  
"I appreciate the gesture, Captain. May you live long and prosper." Alessa returned the Vulcan handsign. She would've been smiling, except for the whole 'being full-blooded Vulcan'.

The four Starfleet officers talked for a little while longer, discussing everything that had been going on since the USS Enterprise was assigned the 5-year mission. They had only just begun, so of course they were still within range of the Surprise, which was on a routine mission near Starbase 16, about one thousand parsecs from the Organian Treaty Zone. Harper was a little worried about his proximity to Klingon space, but Captain Moore assured her he was just dropping off some much-needed supplies to the starbase.  
Eventually, Sage was summoned away from the conversation. She was needed in Sick Bay.

The atmosphere on the Bridge was less electric after the first sixteen hours on their 5-year mission. At first, it had been buzzing with excited chatter. At least it was a little quieter.  
Captain Kirk was about to return to his quarters to get some much-needed rest. After dying and coming back, he had a kind of resistance to the idea of sleep, so he was planning to spend the time playing chess with the ship's computer.  
After double-checking with everyone that everything was ship-shape, he turned to leave the Bridge. A firm hand on his shoulder stopped him in his tracks, and Kirk sagged.  
"Yes, Spock?" The Captain sighed, turning to face his First Officer. The half-Vulcan watched his friend with concern. To someone who didn't know Spock, it merely looked like he was examining his face.  
"Captain, I believe you are leaving without the intention of achieving a sleep-state." Spock began. "Let me begin by stating that this is unwise, since you have not slept since we first left Earth-"  
"Spock." Kirk interrupted, successfully silencing the Vulcan. He glanced up into his friend's eyes. "I'm fine."  
Spock opened his mouth to continue, but Kirk stopped him yet again.  
"I'm _fine_." The Captain reassured him. Finally, Spock looked ready to let him go.

And then a man appeared behind Kirk with a smile and a wave.  
"Hi!" The man chirped brightly. "I'm here to oversee everything."

_If you read the summary, you know what's about to go down. For that 0.001% of you that don't know, I won't spoil it. Anyway, hope you enjoyed! I hope to see you all in the next chapter..!_


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, chapter two! I'll be a little longer, with a few more explanations. I'm still recovering from writing a climactic chapter of another fanfic I'm writing, so excuse my excited typings._  
_Oh, and mainstreet52: Thanks for the crit, but to be honest I can't get into the habbit of writing like that. It may be the preferred format on the site by a lot of writers, but it just feels _wrong_ to me. I'm sorry if that makes it unreadable, but to be honest I can't really change that. Thanks for the praise, too! And I'm sorry if that sounded a bit snippy- I genuinely meant it. ^-^_

_Teensy, tiny edit to my comment there: Wow, it seems like every story I'm reading on the site uses that format. Hmm... I'll give it a go, but I might slip back into my regular way without realising._  
_Time to begin the test, I suppose._

* * *

Kirk whirled around, phaser at the ready before the man had a chance to injur him.

"Red alert! Kirk to Commander Scott, did you authorise a transport onto the Bridge?" The Captain announced, waiting for the Chief Engineer's response.

"'Course not, Cap'n. I'm not a fool!" Scotty's voice replied indignantly.

"I know you're not, Scotty, but a guy just appeared on the Bridge." Kirk responded, his phaser still pointed at the intruder. The man in question had the world's most bored expression for one with a weapon aimed at him.

"What- how did _he_ get on board? He didn't transport, that's for sure!" Scotty's voice exclaimed. A few seconds passed. "Nope, definitely _didn't_ transport."

"Oh, do lower the phaser." The man sighed, shaking his head in disappointment at the Captain. "It can't harm me, of course, but it's the sentiment behind it that hurts _right here_." The man placed a hand over his chest in mock sorrow. Just to worsen the effect, he stuck out his bottom lip.

"Captain, I believe the intruder is mocking you-" Spock began.

"_Yes_, Spock. I can tell." Kirk snapped. He was a little more irritated than he should've been, and regretted his outburst almost immediatelly, but said no more.

"Is that all I am to you? An intruder?" The man stared at Spock in mock hurt. "Well, I'll have to tell the Q that the human race is just as dull and _hurtful _as ever."

"It appears you are misinformed. I am not human, but Vulcan." Spock responded, ignoring the rest of the man's statement.

"Oh yes, yes. Human, Vulcan, Romulan, Klingon. What's the difference, really? Besides, I've hardly come here to differentiate between you all. To me, you're just as equally irritating and useless. Not to mention a savage child-race." The man waved Spock off, turning away. He made his way down to the Captain's chair and plopped himself down. "What do you think?" A bright flash engulfed him, and he was soon wearing the very same Captain's uniform as Kirk.

"I think that you're trespassing on my ship and sitting in my chair, not to mention calling us names." Kirk responded. He had tried to move earlier, but for some reason he was frozen in place. In fact, none of the Bridge crew were moving.

"Well _I_ think I look like a dashingly handsome Captain, don't you?"

Kirk ground his teeth in response. This sarcastic man was driving him round the bend faster than one of Bones and Spock's arguments. He sincerely hoped that somebody would just stun him already.

"Well? Is no one going to answer me?" The man asked. There was a pause filled with awkward silence. "Oh fine. Be that way." He clicked his fingers, and suddenly Kirk found he could move again. The second he could, the Captain fired his phaser at the intruder. It hit him, but instead of causing the man to slump in the chair, it made him turn around and glare at Kirk.

"You know, you're not exactly backing up the argument that you're _not_ a savage child-race by firing your weapon at me." The man explained with a _tsk_ of disapproval.

"Oh, just tell me who you are already!" Kirk exclaimed, finally giving up on stunning the man.

"Finally! I thought you'd never ask." The man cleared his throat. "I am a member of the Q Continuum, a race of omnipotent beings. I've been sent here by my fellow Q to... _oversee_ the changes that your little alternate timeline creates. They're a little concerned, you see. These next few years are crucial to your growth as a race."

Spock raised an eyebrow at the man's statements.

"I thought omipotence was highly improbable." The half-Vulcan pointed out. "I fact, I would go as far as to say that it is impossible."

"Oh _do_ shut up, Pointy, you're spoiling my fun!" The man waved his hand in Spock's general direction. Suddenly, he could not open his mouth to speak. Remaining surprisingly calm, Spock merely pressed his lips together to form a disapproving line.

"Captain, I've alerted Starfleet to out situation." Uhura spoke all of a sudden, throwing Kirk off.

"You did _what_?" The man snapped, suddenly right beside Uhura, prodding at the Communications panel. She leaned as far away from him as she could, but was unable to leave. Spock watched on, unable to voice his irritation for more than just one reason.

"It's okay, I fixed it. They won't disturb us." The member of the Q stood up straigh again, and made his way back to the Captain's chair. "Besides, aren't we on a 5-year mission to explore space? We shouldn't turn back for my sake. I'd hate to put a dampener on anyone's mood."

"Who are you?" The Captain asked again, glaring at the man that sat in his chair. He rolled his eyes.

"I just told you that, _Captain_. I knew the human race were a thick bunch, but I didn't think they were this bad. Or are you just an exception? In any case, I am a member of the Q."

Kirk bit his tongue, trying his best not to strike out at the man. His knuckles turned white as he clenched his fists.

"I meant a name. Do you have a name?" Kirk's question was asked through gritted teeth.

"Oh. Well, I suppose you can call me Q, since we'll be working together for the next while." The man- Q- responded with a sigh. "Now, as much as I'm looking forward to spending time with you all, I have some more primitive humans to visit. They're playing poker, and I intend to win." Q rose from the Captain's chair and disappeared in a flash of white light.

"Spock, please tell me I hallucinated that whole thing." Kirk groaned, collapsing into his chair.

"I am afraid not, Captain." Spock replied. He frowned then. Clearly Q had remembered to un-stick Spock's jaw before disappearing.

Kirk rubbed at his forhead with his hand in a gesture of exhaustion. Finally, he exhaled.

"Call off the red alert, but get a security team to watch out for Q. I have a sinking feeling he's gonna be back sooner rather than later."

* * *

_Well that went surprisingly well for a first proper stab at the new layout. It wasn't quite as lengthly as I'd hoped, but hey. Next time there'll be more._

_See y'all next time!_


End file.
